It’s the end of January, and here I am, staring at my New Year’s resolutions list with a bit of a sinking feeling in my stomach. Sound familiar? If you’re like me, you might be experiencing a bit of the ‘January Blues’ – that particular kind of disappointment that comes when our ambitious New Year’s plans start showing cracks. But you really meant them at the time!
The Weight of Expectations
Three weeks ago, I was brimming with eager optimism. I love the idea of a a clean slate! (Is it from that Catholic upbringing?)
My New Year ‘Changes’ (yes, I hate Resolutions) list looked great: be consistent with a new exercise, eat more consciously, read 20 books this year, make more time for meditating…
Now? Well, let’s just say my workout clothes are hardly used, and my habit tracking app has sent me about 37 guilty notifications.
Why We Feel So Blue
– The pressure of perfection: We often set unrealistic expectations for immediate transformation
– Social media comparison: Everyone else seems to be doing brilliantly (spoiler: it ain’t necessarily so)
– The all-or-nothing mindset: One slip-up feels like total failure – so we give up anyway
– Also, the weather in January in the UK doesn’t help!
The Science Behind the Struggle
Research shows that approximately 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. This isn’t because we’re weak or lack willpower – it’s because rapid lifestyle changes are incredibly challenging for our brains, which are wired to resist dramatic shifts in routine – probably in order to keep us feeling ‘safe’.
Finding Your Way Back
Instead of wallowing in the blues (though of course it’s okay to feel them), here’s what we could perhaps do a bit differently:
– How about changing the word ‘failure’ to ‘feedback’? Each setback is actually valuable information for our own personal database about what works and what doesn’t. Use the learning info, and move on.
– Break down any big goals into tiny, manageable steps: Instead of “get fit,” create small and specific individual actions such as, ‘walk for 10 minutes after lunch’, ”read chapter 3 of my book’
– Celebrate small wins: Did you drink water instead of fizzy drinks once today? Great! That’s progress. Don’t negate it.
– Be kind to yourself: Would you talk to a friend or a small child the way you talk to yourself about these ‘failures’? Berating ourselves does not make for good motivation that could help propel us forward instead.
A Different Perspective
Maybe the problem isn’t us – maybe it’s the whole concept of New Year’s resolutions! (yep!)
What if we viewed January 1st not as a magical transformation date, but as just one of 365 opportunities to make positive changes?
Remember: You don’t need a new year to start fresh – you need a Monday, or a lunch break, or simply the very next next minute.
Moving Forward
So as I sit here, feeling a little deflated – but also optimistic, (luckily that is just how I am), I’m making a new kind of resolution: to be patient with myself. It is easy to forget that change is the process, not the destination. And most importantly, to remember that feeling down after ‘failing’ resolutions is just part of being human.
So if you’re sitting there feeling like you’ve already messed up your 2025 goals so there is no point, take a deep breath. You’re not alone. We’re all just doing our best, and sometimes our best looks different from day to day. And that’s fine. And normal.
Your Turn
How are you dealing with your New Year’s resolutions? Are you well on track or fallen off the wagon and beating yourself up? – Or, perhaps you were too afraid of failing to make any in the first place!
(or you just ignored the whole thing – wait, isn’t that the same thing?)
Here’s to being gentle with ourselves as we navigate another year of growth, setbacks, and everything in between, in this incredible experience that we signed up for, called being human. Because – being kind to ourselves is not the same as being lazy. It is healthy. And motivating.
Remember too, talk about it: sharing our struggles often helps others feel less alone in theirs.
Feel free to leave a comment below about your experience – the good, the bad, and all the awkward bits in between.
And if you are feeling stuck, or if the blues have got to you, let’s have a chat and see if I can help 🙂
